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Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (EasyRead Large Bold Edition), by Steven Hayes
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For a scientist committed to empirical evaluation, it is important to show that materials can be helpful outside the context of a therapeutic relationship, so, generally speaking, we know that a book like this is likely to be helpful. Several of the specific components in this book have been tested, sometimes in a form very similar to the way you are contacting this material. For example, several studies evaluated the impact of short passages drawn nearly word for word from ACT materials (very similar to what you've read) that were recorded on audiotape, read aloud by a research assistant, or were presented to the participants to read. Typically, these studies focused on the ability of participants to tolerate distress of various kinds, such as gas-induced panic-like symptoms, extreme cold, extreme heat, or electric shock. A few studies looked at the distress produced by difficult or intrusive cognitions, or clinically relevant anxiety. Some were done with patients, others with normal populations. The specific ACT components that have been examined so far include defusion, acceptance, mind-fulness, and values. The techniques included exercises, metaphors, and rationales, including several that can be found in this book (e.g., word repetition, physicalizing, leaves on a stream, the quicksand metaphor, the Chinese finger trap metaphor, and so forth). Thus, it seems fair to say that it is known that at least some of what you've read can be helpful at least some of the time outside of the context of a therapeutic relationship, when presented in a form similar to the form in which you have contacted this material.
- Sales Rank: #14023654 in Books
- Published on: 2009-09-09
- Format: Large Print
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 10.00" h x 1.02" w x 7.75" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 452 pages
Amazon.com Review
Trying to "change" negative thoughts through cognitive gymnastics is like trying to win a war single-handedly. Why waste a life trying the impossible? In Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, advocate Dr. Steven Hayes escorts the mildly depressed, angry, and anxiety prone through a new approach to handling suffering--universal human suffering caused by language's illusions. Rather than fighting off bad thoughts and feelings with internal pep talks, Hayes beautifully explains how to embrace those pessimistic and foreboding mental voices (much like welcoming home one's cranky, play-worn children), "defuse" them with respectful attention, and commit to leading a purposeful life that includes their occasional ranting.
Intriguing exercises help readers identify their core struggles, parse these into manageable pieces, and develop effective ways to move beyond rumination. The work progresses easily, thanks to Hayes' engaging style and his grace in coaching readers. Critics of cognitive and behavioral therapies will warm to Hayes' logical explanations of language's pitfalls (even language used by other therapeutic approaches); his sometimes goofy--but surprisingly effective--exercises; well-timed etymology lessons; and his uncanny ability to predict and skillfully address reader reactions throughout the workbook. Ironically, the path to life clocks many hours in the mind; plan to dedicate an intensive month of introspection to this program. Anyone who has been accused of thinking too much, who begrudges compliments, pines for a different life, or feels trapped at a mental dead end can benefit from Hayes' superior guidance.--Liane Thomas
Dr. Steven Hayes answers a few questions about his book, and describes how his research was inspired by his own struggles with panic and anxiety.
Questions for Steven Hayes
Amazon.com: Can you give us a lay person's primer on acceptance and commitment therapy?
Steven Hayes: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is based on a rather remarkable fact: when normal problem solving skills are applied to psychologically painful thoughts or feelings, suffering often increases. Our research program has shown this in thousands of patients, in almost every area of human suffering. Fortunately, we have discovered why this is and we have developed some ways of correcting it.
The basic research underlying ACT shows that entanglement with your own mind leads automatically to experiential avoidance: the tendency to try first to remove or change negative thoughts and feelings as a method of life enhancement. This attempted sequence makes negative thoughts and feelings more central, important, and fearsome--and often decreasing the ability to be flexible, effective, and happy.
The trick that traps us is that these unhelpful mental processes are fed by agreement OR disagreement. Your mind is like a person who has to be right about everything. If you know any people like that you know that they are excited when you agree with them but they can be even more excited and energized when you argue with them! Minds are like that. So what do you do?
ACT teaches you what to do. I will say what that is, but readers need to understand that these mere words will not be useful in and of themselves. Minds are too clever for that! That is why the book has so many exercises and why we have a free discussion group on line for people working through the book (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/). What ACT teaches is acceptance of emotions, mindful awareness of thoughts, contact with a transcendent sense of self, and action based on chosen values. This constellation of skills has shown itself in controlled research to help with an amazingly large range of problems, from anxiety to managing the challenges of physical disease, from depression, to stopping smoking.
Amazon.com: Some of this work is said to have come from your own battles with anxiety and panic. How did these ideas apply to your own struggles?
Steven Hayes: It was my own panic disorder that first put me on to the problem we have now confirmed in our research. My panic disorder began a little over 25 years ago. I watched in horror as it grew rapidly, simply by applying my normal problem solving skills to it. Anxiety felt awful and seemingly made it impossible to function, so it was obvious to me that I first needed to get rid of it before my life would improve. I tried lots of things to do that. But this very effort meant I had to constantly evaluate my level of anxiety, and fearfully check to see if it was going up or down as a result of my efforts. As a result, anxiety quickly became the central focus of my life. Anxiety itself became something to be anxious about, and meanwhile life was put on hold.
After two or three years of this I'd had enough. I began to experiment with acceptance, mindfulness, and valued action instead of detecting, disputing, and changing my insides.
I remember a moment that symbolizes the change in direction. In the middle of a panic attack, with a guttural scream like you hear in the movies, I literally shouted out loud to my own mind. "You can make me feel pain, you can make me feel anxiety," I yelled. "But you cannot make me turn away from my own experience."
It has not been a smooth path and it was several years before anxiety itself was obviously way down (getting it to go down was no longer my purpose, remember, but ironically when you stop trying to make it happen, often it does), but almost immediately life opened up again. ACT is the result of over 20 years of research, following the lead this provided.
Amazon.com: You are a language researcher and chapter two of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life is called "Why Language Leads to Suffering." Can you tell us why you suggest that language is a source of human suffering?
Steven Hayes: Human language (by that I mean our symbolic abilities generally) is central to effective human cognition. It evolved to keep us from starving or being eaten--and it has done a pretty good job of that.
The key to symbolic processes is the ability to relate events in new and arbitrary ways. Our research program has shown this ability even in 14 month old babies, and we now know it comes from direct training from parents and others as part of normal language development. It is a wonderful skill. It allows us to imagine futures that have never been, and to compare situations that have never actually been experienced. That is the every essence of human verbal problem solving.
But that same process has a downside for human beings. For example, it allows us to fear things we have never experienced (e.g., death). It allows us to run from the past or compare the dull present to a fantasized future and to be unhappy as a result. And in my case it lead to the common sense but ultimately unhelpful idea that I needed to get rid of anxiety before I could live well.
We get a lot of training in how to develop and use our minds, but we get very little training in how to step out of the mental chatter when that is needed. As a result, this mental tool begins to use us. It will even claim to BE us. The overextension of human language and cognition, I believe, is at the core of the vast majority of human suffering in the developed world and human technology (the media) is only amplifying the problem by exposing us to an ever increasing stream of symbols and images. Learning how to get out of your mind and into your life when you need to do that is an essential skill in the modern world.
Review
"If you're tired of standard psychological parlance and still frustrated with your quality of life, this book can be a godsend." ---Martha Beck, columnist for O Magazine
From the Publisher
This book develops acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a revolutionary and exciting new direction in psychotherapy, into step-by-step exercises readers can use to get relief from emotional pain. Written by ACT’s founding theorist, the book offers a self-help program proven to be effective for coping with a range of problems, from anxiety to depression, eating disorders to poor self-esteem.
Most helpful customer reviews
91 of 100 people found the following review helpful.
Good book on mindfulness
By Anonymous
The book basically consists of two parts: the first one is about mindfullness and acceptance, the second is about living your life according to your values. Although the first one is good and practical, the second part was not useful in my case.
This book teaches a reader about a different, non-traditional way of dealing with depression and other mental problems like anxiety. There are several schools of therapy, eg. CBT would try to identify negative thoughts and try to argue with them using logic. It didn't work for me, because neither my therapist nor books about CBT (like "Feeling Good") could convince me that I'm wrong and they're right. My other therapist (psychodynamic) on the other hand tried to discover negative patterns in my life and find its origin. It too didn't work, because I didn't receive any advice on how to change these patterns.
This book however offers a different way of dealing with problems (in my case: depression). It teaches mindfulness and acceptance techniques which don't argue with your thoughts and emotions. The author says you shouldn't try to correct your thinking or regulate your emotions, but become aware of them and accept them as they are. In that way your suffering should drop.
The author offers excellent advice on how to do that. The book contains detailed descriptions, arguments and lots of exercises about acceptance. I think my level of suffering has dropped after doing all these exercises. This therapy is not focused on digging out problems from childhood or causes of your life problems. Instead it concentrates on solutions and gives specific advice on how to train your mind to beat depression. I would recommend these techniques to anyone who suffers from a mental illness.
However the second part of the book which is about committing to values was not very useful to me. It asks you to brainstorm your life values, rate them according to importance and then write down some goals on how to achieve them. It's very basic advice and present in almost any self-help book on the market. There's nothing than common sense there and I lack specific advice and exercises that could help me plan my actions better.
Some exercises are just not practical (gradual desensitization when the problem you're dealing with has short deadlines and can't be divided into smaller parts) and some exercises are very superficial (my problem with goal setting: how to find out what your goals should be if you can't think of any practical next step because your goals and values look unrealistic and you have no idea how to achieve what you want?).
Also the author says it's possible to live according to your values now and they're not about the future but about the present moment. I think it may be impossible for some people. For example if you value to "love your partner" and you're lonely you won't be able to do it unless you find a partner. And that delays living your values until some time in the future. During that time you won't be living your values which is contradictory to the advice given by the author ("values are not about the future").
The chapters about commitment and action can be summed up by saying "do what you need to do to get what you want". That kind of advice didn't help me to deal with my problems and it didn't help me with my depression, but just frustrated me further. Which I'm trying to accept by being mindful about the thought that I'm probably not going to be living according to my values any time soon.
Putting it all together, I think it's worth to buy this book for the part about "acceptance" (chapters 1-10) because it may greatly reduce the suffering you may be experiencing. You may however need to work on chapters 11-13 with your therapist, friend or with a help of another book about that topic because it may not be enough to make it an effective ACT therapy.
87 of 89 people found the following review helpful.
Spectacular
By Alguien
I suffer of OCD and panic attacks (if Hell exists, and I believe so, I am sure it has to be something like an eternal panic attack). My life had been, for many years -about 15-, all about my obsessions, compulsions and fears. I lived in a continuous reactive mode to my mind. If my mind was over-curious or stressed I felt fear and just followed it. I would be amazed at myself and my continuous, unstopping over-thinking.
I started by reading Tolle's "The Power of Now". The book, instead of helping me, caused me panic attacks (well, the book and my personal circumstances too). I was feeling like "Well, my thougts are different from myself and my self-identity, but... if I am not my mind, if I am not my thoughts, then who am I?". Afterwards, I read "Brain Lock". Great book! Still, I was living in continuous reactive mode: if an obsessive thought would come, I would react with the book methodology (Realize one is having a thought, realize one has OCD, find something else to do and, finally, stop giving importance to the obsessions). The book was a breakthrough for me into CBT. But, walking down a library some day, prey of a depression after a panic attack had spoiled a relationship, I came across this book (Get out of our mind...) I bought it with a bunch of other books.
What makes this book so great is that it takes you by hand to ACT (a form of CBT) and actually has compassion at yourself. It goes slowly. It repeats the ideas several times and makes amazing analogies. It explains, in plain English, the mind-trap of trying not to think something and how this is a loophole (the less you try to think on an elephant, the more you think of it). It contains plenty of exercises. I did them (Do them! They actually get yourself out of your talkative mind) and started feeling the change. I had lots of fear at the beginning, to confront my fears -yes: fear of my fears), but after some time I learned -or am learning- to accept my thoughts without fighting them... and then...
...and then, there was this chapter which actually was called "If I am not my thoughts, then who am I"!! This chapter opened my eyes to living my life not reactively (like, sadly, most people I know do) but proactively: you don't have to follow every little whim and capricious idea that spots on your mind! You can live according to your values and principles!
This book changed my life. God knows it did. And OCD and panic have made disasters in my life (destroyed a relationship with a wonderful woman, swamped myself and made me keep stuck on the same laboral position for years, and a very long etcetera), but I am not going to pay attention to them anymore. No matter how much they "yell" inside myself.
I got things more important to do than solving my "OCD/Panic" situation. I have some values to live for and some people to love.
10/10 (I am re-reading the book now, just after I finished it)
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Awesome Book!
By calexg
Thanks to Dr Hayes I changed my major and MA plans. This book truly did revolutionize my life. In fact, this Fall I am going to his yearly ACT 4 Day Bootcamp to kick off my ACT training as a wonderful compliment to my university studies, not to mention the prestige that completing the levels of training bestows. All that because of this book! Thank much Dr Hayes!!!
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